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The Freedom I Found When I Stopped Chasing Purpose

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Purpose has been on my mind a lot lately. Find your purpose. Live it religiously. Obsess over it. Put it before your relationship. There was a time when this felt good to me. Finding my one thing that I could lose myself in, day after day - from a place of love, or duty, or pure passion. And I think this is still effective (and necessary) for a lot of men today. Men who are lost. Men who are wandering. Men who are floating directionless, and finding themselves alone and experiencing a life without meaning. And yet, for me, I found myself asking for years... "is this purpose good enough? Is this meaningful enough to me? Is this what I want to do? Could I forsake everything else that I am for this one thing?" And then I would spiral into a familiar depression. So many things I wanted to do, so many things that interested me, but I had to stay on purpose. I had to be of service in one decisive way. Two weekends ago, I was stuck in bed for four days, dealing with the effects of m...
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He Was Pissed At Me. Good.

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Mari texts me a screenshot.  It's an e-mail from Milam's Language Arts teacher. Apparently he has been disrupting the class for the last two weeks. Repeating her words back to the class. Interrupting when she is trying to give students directions. He even had a screaming outburst where she had to send him out of the room. She wanted to handle it herself, but nothing was working and her patience was growing thin. She was considering detention and ISI. She closed the letter with: "Do you think there may be something else going on?" I'm sure most would look at the situation and think there are plenty of reasons and justifications for why he is acting this way. The upcoming move. The weekly jumping between two divorced parents households. Sitting in a school that isn't designed for him. Instability for a child who requires stability and reliability (he is a 4/6 in Human Design, for those familiar with the framework). Mari had spoken with Milam and asked him why he...
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What Happens When One of Us Goes Away and the Power of Coming Back to Our Womb

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As I write this, I am in full Manifesting Generator mode though I'll tell you a secret: I am not a Manifesting Generator 😂. Well, at least not on a regular basis; the transit has my MG mode on lock! 😅 Right now, I am preparing food for my kids before their volleyball game, dancing to my Latin Move playlist to move my energy, and feeling... a little sad. A little melancholy. Nostalgic, even. This week, Marc, The Sage, is off grid. If you've been following our page, you know that two years ago he went into the desert on his Vision Quest: fasting for four days and nights, and returning with a new view of life and a deeper fire lit within him. A deeper commitment to himself, and to us. More clarity. More presence. Integration is an ongoing process, though, and the last couple of years have been a ride. Lots of identity shedding, and a new layer arriving through his health. His body communicating that there was still more work to do in order to truly embody the new him. But that...
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Wilderness Guide Immersion Prep: The Sit Spot

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At the end of the month, I will be spending a week out in nature for a Wilderness Guide Immersion (a prerequisite for Rite of Passage Guide training) with some seasoned elders in this space. This is something that I have been feeling called to for a long time, but never fully stepped into. I have always felt tribal elder / grandfather energy in me - even as a child - and this path feels like home to me. I am not here to lead in the traditional sense, and I am not here to be lead. I am here to commit fully to my own transformation. To feel it. To move through it. And to emerge from it, and let my life be the example of what's possible. I am someone who has gone through many transformations, and I find great joy in walking alongside others as they go through their own. As a practice leading up to this event, I have been instructed to get back in tune with nature for 21+ days leading up to it, at least for 15 minutes a day. For the first collection of posts, I will be sharing contempl...
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